TMS therapy changed the trajectory of my life in such a positive way that I cannot properly convey it on paper.But I will try.

I have always been prone to anxiety. But depression only set in from time to time, on a temporary basis, and it was always situational. One year ago, this month I had major stomach surgery. My stomach was altered in a serious way. It is well known fact that serotonin is produced in the gut, and I had just had half of my stomach removed. For about five years up until this point, I had also been dealing with some very stressful life situations and events. So, between those challenges and my surgery, I found myself in a serious state of depression. 

During my younger life, I had short bouts of depression. I had tried several medications and treatments with no success. When I found myself in April of this year not being able to get out of bed and feeling as low as I ever had, I started the anti-depression tango again – trying on different meds to balance out my chemicals while also trying to balance out the after effects of my surgery and my life. For one hour that morning I lay in bed and wondered what my son was going to do without me. It seemed to me that suicide was indeed my only way out… I’ll never forget that feeling. I truly thought killing myself was my only way out of the fog and despair that embraced me. I finally contacted my doctor and my therapist that morning, as I finally could see something was terribly wrong, as this was not normal for me.

Both told me to stop the medication immediately. I did, and within 24 hours I was no longer suicidal. It was at this point I knew that my chemistry was no longer a match for medication. I had to find another way, as I could not get out of bed, and I could now not depend on medication.

I contacted so many clinics I lost count. Ketamine Therapy, psychopharmacology clinics, and TMS center. None of them were promising. They either took a very long time to get back to me, did not take insurance and wanted hundreds of dollars upfront, the people I spoke with were unkind or disinterested, and some did not get back to me at all. Except for one center which responded immediately – The TMS Center in Randolph, MA.

Ashley was my first contact. From the very first hello, she was so loving, upbeat and kind, and made me feel hopeful. She got back to me within the hour that I contacted her. She did not judge me, she listed intently, and she made sure I knew we would stay in contact. For the first time in months, I felt that just maybe I was going to be okay, and that this horrific depression might be resolved. It was a Wednesday that Ashley and I talked. She sent me the paperwork immediately – by Friday (yes, 2 days later) I had my intake appointment with Dr. Solomon.

Ashley was my first contact. From the very first hello, she was so loving, upbeat and kind, and made me feel hopeful. She got back to me within the hour that I contacted her. She did not judge me, she listed intently, and she made sure I knew we would stay in contact. For the first time in months, I felt that just maybe I was going to be okay, and that this horrific depression might be resolved. It was a Wednesday that Ashley and I talked. She sent me the paperwork immediately – by Friday (yes, 2 days later) I had my intake appointment with Dr. Solomon. 

I was with him for about an hour. He is a very kind, compassionate, and straight speaking doctor. He listened to me, gave me very good feedback and was clear: “I beIieve this treatment will work for you. However, it will not fix the grief you are in. You will need to continue to go through that process with your therapist – I do believe there is a very good chance that she will be very happy with how this treatment works for you.” That was it – I began the treatment that following Tuesday (Ashley would have gotten me in for Monday but it was a holiday weekend!) 

The mapping session took about half an hour. Then, the sessions themselves only took about 10-15 minutes each time (I went every day for 6 weeks, then 3x’s the next week, 2x’s the week after that, and 1x the following week for a total of 9 weeks. I loved going. Ashley is one the best human beings I have ever had the pleasure of sitting with. She kept things interesting, she talked to me, she listened to what I needed. She made sure the treatment was on track and she was the most brilliant liaison between Dr. Soloman and me. 

After about 3 to 4 weeks of treatment I began to feel a major shift. I could not believe it. I was not expecting this to work. It just continued to get better. I found myself happier, wanting to participate in social events again. I felt hopeful for my life again. And I also noticed that I had impeccable discernment between my chemicals that caused depression and my grief process. I finally saw the difference. 

I am still in the process of dealing with the life events that have caused a lot of sadness and upset in my life. But I am navigating them in a very different way. And as a matter of fact, I have made the choice to go through more TMS while I put these challenges into place. This is in no way a requirement. TMS for certain, worked the first time through and I have been doing very well since completing that round of treatment. But it has been a personal decision for me to continue. I am in a very uncertain time in my life, and I never want to feel the way I did pre-treatment, again. So, I am continuing. 

This treatment does not fix the ups and downs of life in any way. It will not cure your grief; it will not change your circumstances. But… it will give you the chemical balance, headspace, and hope that is required to navigate ones life in the best way possible for that individual. We are all unique beings and this treatment will navigate the particular needs of your brain. 

I also would like to say that I have been in therapy for many years. I believe in the process of it, and I continued to have sessions with my therapist through my TMS treatment and continue to go. Much like anti-depressants – talking our problems out and facing them with courage and clear intentions ia a must in life, in my humble opinion. TMS is not a substitiute for therapy but beautifully goes hand in hand with it. This treatment saved my brain. It gave it the jumpstart it needed to begin functioning in a positive way again. And it is a resource that I will itilize whenever I feel I need to for the rest of my life.

Dr. Solomon was wonderful. I am grateful to have been guided by him. And Ashely – well, she is really the superstar at the TMS Center. Truly, a remarkable soul who can aid in the healing process simply by being in her presence. I am so grateful to have had Ashley as my TMS technician. Her bright light shined on me as I walked from the dark into my own light, again. 

Name changed for confidentiality purposes. Testimonial submitted:  September 18th, 2023